Douchebags and sadness...

Okay, so today, Like right when we were supposed to be leaving, Dan's father shows up at my house wanting to talk to my mother.... So yeah, He does and the whole time it's a bash on Lydan and MOSTLY Dan fest.... It pissed me and my mother right off. So like she kept telling him that we had to leave and he wouldn't stfu... Like seriously.... For the past like fourtyfive minutes, my mother and I have been venting about how much of an asswhole this dude is.... Like he called his own son a liar and a sneak and all this shit, and he's basically trying to get my mother to force me to break up with Dan (she'd never do that, she loves dan)... Luckily my mother was there to stick up for Daniel... I mean, seriously... this man is a beast.... Like no one could ever do something like that to their son.... Like he seriously was basically calling me a tramp and shizz and saying all this stuff about what I wrote in Dan's yearbook (which is DAN'S yearbook, and he didn't even REALLY have a right looking through it)..... Now my mom's gonna read the yearbook, and it's really nothing all that bad... So yeah.. Me and my mother just can't believe how rude and douchebaggish Dan's father was..... Like my mom is like "me and your father were the same age gap as you and dan... Dan's dad is totally rediculous...." Like ugh... he's such an ass hole... I can't stand it....Ugh. :/

Another thing, now... Dan's really reallly moving to Providence... :/ I dunno if I'm gunna be able to handle it and stuff... I'm really glad that he's getting out, and I hope that we can make it, but I just don't know.... It's tough... I mean, he's the love of my life, and I see him every day, faithfully, and now I just don't know how I'm going to handle it... Like just today I've almost burst out into tears several times.... Like I don't know if I should even try to handle it... We've been going out for three months, and I don't know whats going to hurt more: Loving him, breaking up with him and giving him a chance to have a love closer to him and closer to his age... Or staying with him and us never seeing each other... I guess this is going to be one of the toughest choices I've ever made... But I'm kind of scared for my well being and our relationship's well being, because I'm already scared about our relationship falling apart and stuff and I'm so insecure about him breaking up with me for someone else and stuff, and I don't know if I should just spare him the trouble and break up with him myself.... I suppose these are the things I really need to think through before I make a descision that could truly screw up my life... I also don't want to be missing him too much and start self destruction (again).... Yeah... I just don't know....He truly means everything to me.... It's scary... I mean, I know that him living in Providence and working in Providence and then going to College next year, he's going to have like a million chances to find someone new, and someone closer to his age and chances to make his family happy... Which is another thing.. I never know if he's just staying with me to get back at his dad, whom I know doesn't want me and Daniel together.... So I'm probably just some freaky, paranoid SOB who needs to relax, but I just don't know if I can....

Well, I'm now off to get the elecktroids off of my head, and I was just informed that through some tests that I not only have brain damage from seizures from when I was a kid, but the damage may be getting worse, so hopefully everything gets better, but I'm starting to lose all faith in life and myself... So i just don't know what to do anymore....