Day off.

I've come to the conclusion that this year, I hate Days off. I can't even enjoy them, since most of the days in which I get off, being in Highschool and such, Dan does not have off. I hate it; therefore, all day, I am stuck, watching daytime television in my pajamas while browsing the web, waiting the whole time for Dan to get out of class... What fun.
On the bright side, my birthday is in about a month... I'm finally turning fifteen, just in time for my friends to turn sixteen. I'm wanting a few things, but I know I won't get many of them... My parents are getting me a class ring, which I won't actually receive until March, So there isn't much coming from them. And the other thing I want, I can't mention, because if they know I want it from them, they might get mad and think I'm being retarded and stuff. That thing I won't get either.
Just to clear EVERYONE up, since no one will leave me alone about the subject, I will be having a party. It will be costume. It will be Halloween. It will be on October 25th. If you want to come, let me know. [Even though no one reads my blog, except maybe devin, but that's okay.]

I've also decided that I really need a cell phone. It is ridiculous that I do not have one, especially since my mom doesn't even have a working house phone.
I feel like drawing... I just don't know what to draw. Maybe I'll just go back and look in the magazine that i have, which is filled with things that I will never be able to own. *sigh* this is the life.

I hate the life.

Ah; what a lovely day.

My phone is broken, and it's the only one I could get a hold of my bestest friend, Devin from, whom I was attempting to make plans to go to the movies with.... I tried calling him from another phone, but his phone is dead, so I have no clue how to get a hold of him; Thus, I am sitting in Brewed, alone. My boyfriend had school and he has it tomorrow, so I can't see him, either. I will probably end up heading to the theater in a bit, to proceed to watch a movie...alone. Maybe I'll catch some luck, and I will find a friend or something... But no one is as pathetic as me, to come and do things alone, so I'm assuming I will find two friends. But, hey, the more the merrier.

Oh, and thank you to the Jewish folk.
With out you, to top off my loneliness, I'd have to go to school another day tomorrow, and realise some more about how pathetic and loserlike I am. I thankyou for sparing me that.
Seriously, you rock.

Yehy. [but not really]

Soo I'm in Computer Apps... FUN!!! [not]. I have nothing to do, and most useful websites are blocked in this stupid school, so here I am, blogging as usual when there's nothing better to do. It's raining [again] for like the forth time in a row... I love the rain, so I'm quite content with it being rainy. It makes me smile and gives me a chance to wear my super awesome black rain boots with the hearts on them :] At this point in time, I'm reading a book called "You Don't Know Me" and so far it's been amazingly easy to relate to. It almost makes me just want to sit and write about things and make up my own world, changing and starting new beginnings, but I feel as though I have next to no talent in the writing department... I love to do it, but I must be honest with myself...I'm terrible. I used to write a lot of short stories, but I've slightly drifted from writing, into reading more and more, Some day soon I wish to take out a section of time in the day, and just start writing... Maybe tomorrow?

yey.

Sooo today I went to the swamp yankee thingy with my cousin then we went back to my house and "jammed" on my "drums". I put quotations, since we both had no clue what we were doing and the "drums" are older than me and haven't had new skins and my high tops got stolen. sooo yeah. It was effin fun though. AND I HAVE PLANS FOR MY PARTY! I'm so excited. It's gonna be awesome this year [as always]. I plan for the twenty fifth and it's going to be amazing and I can't wait! And my family is going to my aunt linda's house and we're bringing Dan, and it's gonna be awesome because like, he hasn't like met them yet. Sooo, I have a lot to look forward to. :] I have tuesday off, and I'm planning on going to the movies tomorrow night with my friends and stuff, so that's gonna be fun too. :] yahy.

rawr.

Soo. SKHS sucks. hXc. They're effin retarded. Yeah; So anyway. I did my homework! I'm such a good student.... Now I am coloring/being online. In my super awesome My Little Pony coloring book with my disney princesses crayons.... [courtesy of The Dollar Store.] :D I heart coloring. It's super fun. Some people are sooo dumb... I've been going out with dan for like, six months+... They should get used to the fact that he's my everything... I mean, seriously... It's bullshit when someone like invites me to a party or some shit like that and don't invite him... Like it's fine if he's working or something and he can't go, but still. Ugh. They're retarded. >:o. I hate people sometimes.

woohoo...not.

Soo It's a tuesday... Friday was horrible. Saturday was great. Sunday was bullshit. Monday was sickly, and today.. I am home from school, with a sinus infection, waiting for my third antibiotic in two months. Hooray! [NOT]. I hate being home from school, nowerdays.. It used to be okay, when I could text dan, or when I HAD no dan to miss. But today, I have nothing. And what sucks more, is that he gets out at two fifty and I have to wait until then to see him, when my friggin mother woke me up at six thirty, and now I can't get back to sleep, so I don't even have sleep to take away the loneliness, and dan doesn't even care... He tells me not to worry about today, and just be happy that we'll be together... YEAH OKAY. How can I not focus on what's going on right now? Seriously... So I stopped talking to him, since I was pissing him off with feeling alone and being without him, and telling him why and how I'm going to hate today, and I began blogging about it... Sometimes, he can be so awesome and can listen to my problems... But times like this just piss me off, when he basically tells me to shut up, when I'm practically in tears.... :'[

blah.

Okay; Soo I'm at my mom's. I'm soo bored. Me and my sisters are at my mom's, celebrating her birthday. My muscles are all sore and bleh. I don't even know why... I'm just all achy. It sucks. I really like Arizona iced tea... It's so awesome... Well, I suppose i should get back to partying.

soo

Yeah... I'm really pissed at myself. Earlier, I went to sleep at like eight, but I didn't mean to, and I really wanted to talk to dan, and I woke up, like at three seventeen, and I was really mad, but i tried calling him anyway, just in case he was awake, and he wasn't, but he answered, and I knew that he wanted to sleep, so I let him sleep, but like then i cried. And I *really* want to talk to him, and I'm just really mad that I slept. :[
Gr.

Horrible.

Horrible day. Doug, my ex of seven months, cheated on me [with three other girls as a relationship], not only with three other girls, but there was a fourth girl, whom he was fucking. What a lovely day. :[ I'm really hurt and depressed and sad and lost right now. I just can't believe how stupid i was. Granted this was a long time ago, and I have dan now, and I love him more than anything or anyone, but just finding out that after all that I was through with Doug, he did all that to me... It just kinda hurts still... A lot.

a;ld

Fuck guys.
Seriously.
Ohmygod.
Fuck them.
I'm so effin pissed. Jesus christ. I didn't do a goddamn thing and dan's all like being stupid and it's retarded. all i wanted to do was effin talk to him, and like he's being retarded.
I fucking hate people.
SO much.
D:<

mmmm.

So, I woke up this morning thinking I would go back to sleep.
Then I saw my laptop
and that he had talked to me last night
while I was asleep.
Now I'm stuck, unable to go back to sleep
waiting for him to wake up.


Love blows.

Anyway. I'm really tired and my whole body feels like jello from dancing all night. lol. I'm slightly hungry, but I don't feel like eating.... What's new?

"i'mma do the things that I wanna do."

bored bored bored.

Today is the day when You try to run in circles so many times that you get really dizzy and fall down... But when you're dizzy and crashing to the floor below you, things just seem to make sense. It's like, the world is so busy in the first place, that it seems amazing when you're trying to put things back to place as you fall upon the floor, helplessly dizzy. It's just the most amazing feeling. You know, I'm thinking... It's the silliest thing when someone asks you what the very first thing you do when you wake up is... Maybe it's not so silly to everyone else, but to me it is, because EVERY day, the first thing I do is open my eyes. Like who doesn't do that when they first wake up? What do they do...? I just seem to not understand. Why is it that when people love someone, they wait around for them for the longest time, just thinking about them, when they know they won't show up? Or they know they should be doing something better? I don't understand why we do things like that... At least, I do... And when you like someone, and you want so badly to have them notice you, and you work so hard at it, but the very last thing you want to do is talk to them? I mean, obviously it's because you're afraid you're going to make a fool of yourself or something like that, but seriously, if you eff up that bad, wouldn't you not want to be with them if they will judge you like that? Why not just jump out and say something? It's much better than just sitting around waiting for some magic to happen... Oh my. Such stupid things... And what's up with the internet? Why do people get so addicted... It's so..not personal. it starts so many arguments because people assume you're saying things in one way, but really you mean it in another way.... I think it's much more effective to just give someone a call or talk to them in person, considering you can actually, like, understand everything. ugh. I just hate the internet. I mean, if it's like something unimportant, then yeah; go ahead, myspace it, but seriously, if you're like asking someone out or if you're breaking up with someone or telling them something really important, do it in person!!! Or AT LEAST on the phone. ha. Well, yeah, I'm just raving about really stupid shit. lmao! <3

Back.

mm... SO I just got back from a wicked fun party for my friend Priya's sweet sixteen, and it was soooo much fun :]. It was kinda crazy though, because it was the first time that I've gone like...OUT with my friends since me and dan started going out like six months ago, which, I kind of feel bad saying, but it was kinda nice.. It was like a girls night out... I think that's what i'm gonna do every saturday now, since he works on saturdays... Because I had like a super lot of fun. :] But I did miss him, obviously.

abcdefg.

So, Sometimes I wish I were a butterfly.
I'd fly away.
Hide away.
Float through the breezes.

Sometimes I wish I were a star.
I'd shine so bright.
I'd fly so high.
I'd never be touched or hurt.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't human,
and that I was just a peice of grass
or a rock
or a bird.
Something that was so THERE, but no one noticed.

Maybe that's how things are now.